April movie reviews! Cavemen, ghosts, rastafari dread lock man

* Here's some recent flicks I netflicked and i recommend:

1. Caveman: This has all the elements you want to see in a prehistoric dinosaur movie- Giant pterodactyl sunny-side-up breakfast eggs, stepping into giant dinosaur shit, the first gay cavemen, smashing giant mosquitoes on your bro's face, the dramatic discovery of fire, and subsequently the discovery of BBQ'd chicken soon thereafter, and of course giant dinosaurs stop motion animation style! not that crappy CGI shit.

2. Pulse: Creepy ass ghost story about ghosts entering our realm via the internet. There's some scary original ghost scenes in this one. Plus the director gives some great filmmaking techniques in the special features secion - great suspense building techniques for all you budding filmmakers.

3. Rockers: Dread lock rasta guy trying to make a living gets jacked by mobsters so he gathers together his crew of dreads and gets his revenge. They're like a Jamaican version of Ocean's 11. My favorite part is when they hijack a DJ booth at a club and play their reggae records. If you liked "The Harder They Come" this is a must see. Why are Jamaican movies so colorful?? It's like looking at Skittles the whole time. These movies always make me wanna go to Jamaica.

4. Fitzcarraldo: Werner Herzog flick about a guy who wants to build an opera house in the Amazon jungles- but due to a bad geographical logistic problem he needs to carry his big ass boat over a mountain with the help of scary natives. Klaus Kinksi is really funny in this one.

5. Burden of Dreams: A documentary about the making of Fitzcarraldo. Originally Mick Jagger was supposed to be in it! I'm amazed the movie even got made with all the bad luck that happened- someone even got attacked by and shot in the neck by giant razor sharp arrows by some real natives in the jungle. Werner Herzog is a crazy dude. I kinda liked this better than the actual film actually.

6. Gozu: If David Lynch made a Yakuza movie this would be it. BEWARE! There's lots of disturbing images and situations here- ie. incestual adult breast feeding, spoons up the asshole sex, etc- but if you handle that sort of thing then it's quite enjoyable.

7. Assault on Precinct 13(the original one): This is literally like a zombie movie without the zombies. So if you are scared of zombie movies, but would like the experience of watching one, watch this.